David Brown

Overstimulation

Introduction

This page describes my experiences with the sensory perception aspect of Asperger's.

Unusual

I have always considered it unusual the things that I am very (almost excessively) capable in, and the things that I find extremely difficult. For example, some things I find difficult, that most NTs (neurotypical people) do not. In fact, most people don't seem to comprehend that these kinds of things could possibly be difficult, and assume that I'm just lazy, or rebellious.

Difficult tasks

Organizing

I find organizing my personal life to be one of my most difficult areas. Sorting through a pile of papers on my desk is a daunting task that can take hours, rarely can I finish. This past week, I tried to clean out my car. I made it about half way through, and had to stop, lie down, and rest. I decided it wasn't worth the pain, and didn't finish cleaning it up.

There are two aspects of this that are difficult. One is the simple notion of moving things around. I find it difficult when things in my environment change (for no good reason, I'm not as bothered by necessary changes). The other aspect is that making decisions on how to organize things is completely baffling to me. Much of the issue is that I can't create algorithms for performing this task. (Hmm, a possible idea for a strategy on this issue).

An example of this is putting dishes away (unloading the dishwasher). If it is already determined where the dishes go, I have no problem with this, in fact, I rather enjoy the task. When I first moved to my new house, the though was daunting. I ended up having someone also put the dishes in the cupboard. I think the problem may be related to there being no single correct solution. There are many issues and subtle tradeoffs, and some parts that just don't really matter.

Shopping

I find shopping very difficult. Before understanding AS, I never figured out why I was so reluctant to do this. Now it makes a lot of sense. Walmart is probably the most difficult store for me. There is a lot of sensory input vying for my attention. It very quickly becomes overwhelming. I tend to only stay brief periods of time in Walmart, at usually require a nap or rest in a quiet place after doing so.

Buying clothes is very daunting. I have no clue how to choose clothing. Fortunately, I have been able to commandeer help in this respect.

Oddly enough, a store I am familiar with, especially one that has a technical bent (Fry's Electronics, for example) is a much more comfortable place. I am OK in my local Fry's store, and even enjoy looking around, somewhat (as long as I stay away from the TV's). A Fry's I haven't been in is very overwhelming.

Excess noise and light

I have a very hard time with excess noise and light. I cannot handle being around a TV with the sound on more than a few minutes. Movies are OK, but only if I am only focusing on the movie. I find it difficult to watch more than 30 minutes or so of commercial TV without having to turn it off. I don't even have a TV at home.

Other aspects are more subtle. I don't like bright places, leave my curtains closed throughout the day, and don't like background music. When I eat at a restaurant (usually alone), I prefer to be away from other groups of people.

Social interactions

I usually do OK with one-on-one conversations, depending a lot on the person. Some people I get nowhere in conversation, and just get frustrated (often they get offended). Other's I have great conversations with.

If there are other people there, I am at a complete loss. Even having another person in listening range hinders my communication abilities. Some things, such as work meetings focusing on technical issues, are much easier for me. Going to lunch with a group of people is just plain unpleasant.

Strengths

There are other, atypical things that I am somewhat abnormally good at.

Memorization

Somethings I find amazingly easy to remember. Although I find phone numbers difficult to remember at first, once I remember them, it is permanent. I still remember phone numbers of my childhood friends, even though this is completely useless.

"Ladle Rat Rotten Hut" is a strange string of non-sensical and unrelated words that sounds somewhat like the familiar story of Little Red Riding Hood. I encoutered this story and read through it a few times. Later, I discovered that I could recite the entire thing from memory. I have not yet figured out why I can sometimes memorize things like this, but usually don't.

ASL (American Sign Language)

I have been learning ASL for about 2 years now. I communicate very naturally with Deaf people, and am often mistaken for being Deaf. I think this has a lot to do with similarities between ASL and how the autistic mind works.

Computer Skills

Most of my obsessions since junior high have been related to computers. I have learned several programming languages by studying their compiler source code. I have implemented my own backup software, just because I wasn't satisfied with what was available. I wrote my own software for court-reporting (see below).

My jobs/career has been as a software engineer. My programming skills have compensated for my lack of social skill enough to keep me employed, and actually doing quite well. What I do that most other programmers seem to find difficult is easily grasp the entire system I am working with and have a very deep understanding of how it works. I can also focus intensly on a particular problem, and can usually write code or solve bugs much faster than other people.

Court Reporting

My obsession a few years back was with Court Reporting. I purchased a steno machine, and began learning the theory. Other issues forced me to abandon this obsession, but I still desire to go back and finish learning this. I made it about half way through the theory program. I found practicing on the steno machines to be one of the most pleasant activities I've ever done. This is quite non-typical.

Piano

I have played the piano since I was twelve. I never made it as a concert pianist (mostly an issue of dedication to practice), but do enjoy playing classical music. I also enjoy improvising, and am working on a project to record some of my improvisations.

Unusuality

As you can see from this list, there are some things that I find difficult that most people find easy, and other things that I find easy that most people find difficult. Most people I have spoken with seem to feel that task difficulty is similar in all people. They have a very hard time understanding the stress and difficulty I have in organizing my desk and room. Usually, they just think I am lazy. Oddly, they usually recognize the things I am good at. Perhaps they just need to realize that these strengths come at a cost.